Friday, November 20, 2009

where i was a year ago...

Friday November 20th, 2009 3.44 am

It's almost 4am and my mind is still wired despite the rhythmic sound of the soothing rain. It's melody that beats against my bedroom window carries a note of strength and courage that now harmonizes with the beat of my aching heart. Together, they created a mesmerizing love song.

I have always adored the rain. Though most find the rain to be of a nuisance; I view it as a symbol of romance and purity. Romance represents the tears shed when love is lost or found and purity because I believe that rain can truly cleanse one's soul.

Amazing how many thoughts will race around in my head from just lying here in a darkened room. This rain has strike up a strange feeling from within. The state of mind I was in last year at this same time seems to be of something very far away now; almost like I was in a totally different world. Guess you can say that I've grown a little; physically and mentally. =)

My runny nose has been bothering me all night. Not to mention, the minor headaches in between. It is also nights like these when I long for the embrace of my warm hearted mother.
*sigh* miss the rice porridge she makes whenever I'm sick. =(

When I was younger I've always thought that on this journey call life, the amount of company I have around me would improve not only in quantity, but also in quality. Yet, as I'm looking into this mirror called reality, there seems to be only one clear reflection and a few shadows lurking around in the midst of the night. My circle of friends should be increasing in size and growing with love. Quite the contrary! Matter of fact, it shrank so much, I am now hesitant to reach out for another hand. I fear I might trip before I can get to one.

With that stated, I wonder if a lover can really be a best friend at the same time?! =? Can you ever be soOooOo comfortable with another human being that you can say anything, do anything and feel anything without fearing they might run away or judge you?! Can there ever be such a trust level where both partners are very secured of themselves?! Is this what the general public would consider to be the elements of a soul mate?! hm..

Carrie Bradshaw ended up with Mr. Big despite everything they went through. Well, more like despite every relationship they went through. Even at that rate it still seems somewhat perfect. Guess a ship just has to cruise around the world in order to dock at a perfect port! Otherwise, how else would you know if that port is the best and most suitable? Options is the key! =)

Then again, someone once told me, "easy come, easy go." for the fun of this blog, I will name that friend Mr. Big. =) "A real relationship will have bumps here and there, ups and downs, just like a roller coaster!" exclaimed Mr. Big, "If a roller coaster didn't have any high and low points, it wouldn't be a very fun ride." Males seem to think they have an answer for everything! =)

Well, as you would say it Mr. Big, "only time will tell." So I will bid you good night for now. Until next time! =)


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